I hate all girls vehemently.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
