Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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