he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
this is an emotional support booty call
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
