i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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