guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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