I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
