I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
