oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
