38 yer olds are good kisserssss
People in love make me want to vomit
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
