I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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