Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
