My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
