This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
