he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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