Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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