that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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