Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
