Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
