I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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