I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
