can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
