too bad you live with your parents still
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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