She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
