he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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