"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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