I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
