You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
