Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
