I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
