you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
