Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
