I wannas sexs uuuuu
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
