her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
