So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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