butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hippo gnu deer
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
