puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
