as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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