There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
