people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
