I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
