That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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