its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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