So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
