Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
