Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
