I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I want to fling myself into the sun
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
