my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize