covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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