My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
