You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
