I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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