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no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize