Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
