I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
