I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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