oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
