if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She announced her abortion via fbk
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
